Too Quiet: Audria

Van Dyke Brown Print Scan + Digital Image 

         I don't have a lot of friends for many reasons. As a homeschooler I didn't have a lot of practice at making friends before entering adulthood. I'm also an introvert, I enjoy spending time with other people but I rarely feel a need to be surrounded by others. In groups of larger than one on one I tend to sit back and listen, I'll join the conversation briefly, but I'm content with listening most of the time. The combination of these things can make me appear stand offish. It's not that I don't want to make friends, I just don't have a lot of skill at it, I don't have a great need for it, and I'm quiet. It makes me seem unapproachable so if I want friends I have to work to make them, they don't just come to me. 

          I am content with having few friends. I've always had one close friend and very few other friends. At the moment I have my boyfriend who is my closest friend, and my coworkers. I'm closer to some coworkers than others we spend time together outside of work but not very often. I hardly text anyone besides my boyfriend and that's necessary because he lives in another state. The friends I have I enjoy my time with and that's enough for me. 

           I have definitely felt pressure to make more friends and be more socially active. Especially as a teenager I really didn't have even one close friend, I didn't really have anything in common with the teenagers I was acquainted with and I didn't really have any opportunities to meet anyone who I did have common interests with. This was in the days of MySpace as well so there was the pressure to have a list of your "Top Friends." That pressure actually helped me to make a few friends, I found that it was easier for me to make friends through the Internet, although I still had very little in common with them so they were still barely more than acquaintances. I don't know if this counts as pressure but whenever I see a girl who walks into a room and knows half of the people in it already and has something to talk about with each one of them I don't understand why she would want that, like I don't want to walk into a room and have ten people expecting me to say hello and chit chat with them. I physically cannot do chit chat. Especially not with ten different people.