Too Thick: Alexa

6 out of 7 days, I am totally in love with my body and myself. There are those days where I wish I was thinner or maybe wasn't so curvy. There are some days where comfortable is an understatement. Sometimes it's difficult to feel like I look good when things don't fit me the way I wish they would. But then I'll just shake it off. I don't dwell on negative feelings about myself. I focus on what matters more. It's been a long way here, to this kind of self acceptance. I know what it's like to not want to love yourself because you feel so uncomfortable in your own skin. But I also know how worth it is to conquer those feelings and decide to love yourself and to decide to be comfortable. I know how worth it is to be able to look at yourself in the mirror and look at yourself with pride instead of shame. 

At the risk of sounding totally cliche, I think all women are unique. I don't think there's a perfect woman. I believe we all have a concept in our head of what an ideal woman is. So as far as looking different goes, yeah I feel I look differently solely because every woman is different. I can appreciate another woman's beauty without feeling insecure about mine. I can believe a woman is more attractive then me and still be confident about myself. 

Not too long ago I got called a fucking whale by this boy who had never seen me in person. It was the first insult to actually have an affect on me in a very long time. I don't know why this stranger would feel so entitled to my attention that when I did not give it to him he reacted like a child throwing a tantrum. He called me a name and insulted my body. The same body that caught his interest in the first place. So it didn't bother me in the way that I felt bad about myself but it bothered me in the way that he felt comfortable attacking me like that. I don't care what people think about my body. It's MY body. I've been called fat since 7th grade when I developed. It's not a word that holds any weight(Pun intended). I'm a thick woman and I'm okay with that. There isn't anything that anyone can say that will prevent me from loving myself. 

Too Silly: Katelyn

I like being silly, of course! It makes me happy.

I have been ridiculed for being too silly or immature. People think I'm weird until they get to know me. I have a sarcastic personality and sometimes it comes off as rude or weird.
Those people don't bother me. Eventually they get used to my personality and if they don't, then I choose not to surround myself with people who ridicule me

Too Butch: Kass

  

  I knew at a young age that I was different. I was in elementary school so I was about 8 years old when I realized that I was different from all of the other little girls around me because unlike then I loved to play sports. I was the first girl to start playing football with all the boys at recess. I also knew I was different because I didn't look or dress like all the other little girls in my classes, while they wore their bright pink and colorful blouses and dresses I wore jeans and jerseys. 

           I also knew I was different than the other girls because while they had crushes on the boys I had my first crush on one of my female classmates in 5th grade. I didn't think too much into it nor did I really understand the feeling. It wasn't until I got a little older and was in middle school that I finally understood what it mean. I was gay, a lesbian. It wasn't that big of a deal to me because by that time I had come to understand it more and had family gay family members and family friends. 

            I don't really think I am all that different than other women. I am still you very typical version of a female on the inside. I am an emotional person, I am a nurturer, I have the stereotypical aspects of a women on the inside. 

I guess I am different than what society thinks a woman should look like but I don't mind being different! I think being different makes me who and am who I have become. I think being different is what the world needs.

           Growing up a was a tomboy I always have been. As a kid I never faced any ridicule or judgement from other because I was a kid. But as I got older I have got lying and some judgement from people. For example my dad will joke from time to time asking me if I'm going to wear a dress and heels to the company Christmas party or formal events. 

             Before I cut my hair I was afraid if I did I would get a backlash of negative feedback but it turns out I was wrong. My family was fine with it and knew I was something I wanted. However it was a little different going out in public because I guess I was confusing people. Before people saw the way I dress but knew I was a female because if my long hair. Now people stare as if they are trying to figure it out as if I couldn't possibly be a female because I have short hair. 

               The worst reaction that I can say I have ever received is when I was at the Fresno police records department picking up some paperwork, and the older women asked for my name and my ID. I gave it to her and she to a look at me and my ID a few times and then went on to say is this you? I said yes! She said are you sure? I said yes! She said you're a girl? I said yes I am! It was a little uncomfortable and embarrassing but I'm sure there were worse reactions. 

Ai Wei Wei

            After watching the documentary about the Chinese artist Ai Wei Wei, I felt very empowered. Ai Wei Wei is a great inspiration to all artists. He is not afraid to express his thoughts and feelings explicitly in his work. This is a characteristic that all artists should possess. However, Ai Wei Wei mentioned several times in the documentary that he is not brave, and that he is afraid. This is understandable, seeing as his art usually is opposing the Chinese government and their laws. In this way, Ai Wei Wei is saying that he does not like the way that the powerful entities of his country are running things. This certainly calls for fear. Ai Wei Wei is simply expressing his fear and in a way he is causing fear in the minds of others. Yet the way that most viewers of Ai Wei Wei’s art feel when they see his work is probably empowered and informed. Viewers probably do not feel a sense of fear when seeing his work. I find this very interesting about Ai Wei Wei, because as afraid as he is, he is still doing something, and he is being an example and a leader for others to do something about their fears as well.

            It seems that when Ai Wei Wei visited New York in the 80’s, his art was really beginning to develop. During his time in New York, he was of course given absolute freedom to do whatever he wanted with his art. Perhaps if Ai Wei Wei did not visit New York, he would not be creating his art so freely. Perhaps Ai Wei Wei found the idea of freedom—particularly in the artistic sense—in New York, and he still has an urge to bring that freedom to China.

            There is no doubt that Ai Wei Wei is an optimist. However afraid he is, the fact that he continues with his work no matter what happens to him, proves that he is hopeful that change will come. It is easy to look up to someone like Ai Wei Wei, particularly as an artist. All artists should have a cause, reason, or theory behind their work. Often, these things can be scary, personal, or emotional to share with viewers. Often, artists are afraid of judgement and confusion from viewers. Yet, as artists, we must have the courage to express our causes, reasons, theories, and emotions. It is a raw and sometimes painful thing to do, yet the best work comes when we are most honest and straightforward to viewers. Ai Wei Wei is a perfect example of an artist who conveys this properly.

            The fact that Ai Wei Wei allows and requests that other do the physical act of making a lot of his artwork can seem alarming to some. However, the idea of bringing people together and allowing them to create something that speaks against politics in China, seems like good tactic to get other involved and on board with the ideas that the artist are getting at. It is actually a kind idea to allow everyday people to be involved in the making of his art, because it makes them feel involved and empowered.

            Ai Wei Wei’s many mediums of art is proof that Ai Wei Wei is a very conceptual artist rather than just a physical technician. Furthermore, Ai Wei Wei’s work can be very repetitive and blatant, such as the photos of his middle finger, which seem to be an ongoing project. Yet somehow, his work has become symbolic, and viewers continue to want to see more of the same concept. It is interesting to see the new ways in which Ai Wei Wei is able to oppose the Chinese government with his work. The idea of changing mediums of one’s art is a good example of how to get the concept of one’s work set in stone. Perhaps it would be a good exercise for artists to try different mediums and ways to express the same thought.

            Overall, Ai Wei Wei and his work are very impactful, empowering, and thought-provoking, if not action-provoking as well. Ai Wei Wei is an unstoppable artist, who teaches so many things to so many people. The biggest lesson being to stand up and do something for what one believes. Ai Wei Wei is someone to look up to for inspiration for any artist with any artist statement. 

Exit Through The Gift Shop

Exit Through the Gift Shop

            In this documentary we saw a lot of street art and how it is created. We saw the way that some street artists use Pop Art intertwined in their street art. Theirry Guetta (a.k.a. Mr. Brainwash), did a lot of Pop Art meets street art pieces. To me, the biggest difference between Pop Art and street art is that Street Art is meant to be shown on the actual street, and for the public to see without purposefully going to see it or purchase it. Pop Art however, is more of a fine art movement, which is meant to be seen in a gallery. Pop Art is also usually just created with the technique of screen printing, while street art can be made with screen printing, graffiti, installations, and various other techniques. However, both arts are similar in that they usually are meant to evoke a thought about society and culture that is currently happening.

            In Exit Through The Gift Shop, I was very confused about what the film’s premise was. Before watching the film I was under the impression it was a documentary about Banksy and street art in general. Yet as I watched I found that it was really about Thierry/Mr. Brainwash.

            Seeing as both Thierry and Banksy’s film and interviews were in the movie, it makes me wonder if the whole movie was set up. The more I think about it, the more I see how the movie could be its own piece of art, presented to the World by Banksy for us to try to decipher. Many people are curious about Banksy, so Banksy gave us something to work with. Yet in doing so, Banksy in a way is making fun of us as viewers of art, who will eat up anything that is referred to as art that has a big price tag on it. He’s also making fun of “artists” who take other people’s work and do not add a lot of creativity to it, and “artists” who just suddenly start doing art, without having a real reason or motivation behind it. Banksy is calling out fake art and fake art followers and showing them in an unflattering light in the form of Mr. Brainwash.

            If the story of Thierry and Banksy is actually true, Banksy as a producer did well to take that story and share it in a way that expresses his concern over copycat artistry and the self-centeredness of some artists. 

A Reflection

            As an artist myself, I create art because I feel a strong need to. I do not create because I want to express a specific idea or opinion to my audience. However, I have learned that although not always intended, my work usually does have a message, and viewers do have an emotional response to my images. More recently, I have tried to tune into my concepts and emotions, and tried to be more concise as to how I’d like my audience to respond to my work. Although, there are times where I want my work to have a wider range open for interpretation.

            As I have looked back on my work, and looked towards what I would like to create, I have noticed that a lot of my photography has themes of childhood and growth. This makes sense, as a lot of my inspiration comes from my past as a young girl. I grew up in Northern California and the Bay Area, and I was homeschooled, so I spent a lot of time outside, while other kids were in their classrooms. I feel lucky to have had so much time to have dreamed and imagined as a young girl. As I grew up, I felt like I could do anything and achieve anything. I feel that I have achieved a lot of my goals, and I am happy with how my art has grown. I believe this is reflected in my work, and this is why there are so many images of growth and childhood in my photos.

            I do a lot of composite photography, which gives my work an intentional other worldly look. I do this because I believe that we all have been given the great gift of imagination, and I believe God intends us to use it. I like to think that I am exercising my mind and my soul when I create dreamy fantasy moods. I also think that this act of imagination keeps me pure and alive in this world of darkness and despair. I feel that it keeps me feeling young, and untouchable to society. I hope that others will be inspired to imagine when they see my photos, and perhaps even inspired to create something themselves.  

            I like to only use my own photography when I create my pieces. I do not create collages with other peoples’ work. Sometimes I even struggle with using special brushes on Photoshop. I want my work to be completely organic and full of things that I can see and touch. I want to be able to say, “Yes, I made all of that.” I get a lot of inspiration from artists like Jerry Uelsmann, Mann Ray, Salvador Dali, Annie Leibovitz, and Brooke Shaden. These artists also do composite photography and surreal art, and they help me to have trust in my tools and my technique.  I of course get inspiration from other things like nature and spiritual and emotional feelings.

            Lately, I have been inspired to do images relating to female strength and growth. I am growing as a woman, and I am learning more about how society views me, and other young girls. This is one of the first times in my life that I have felt very strongly about my concept. I am beginning to have a more surreal look to my work, and I am starting to study surreal artists like Dali more closely.

            Normally I make art with my digital camera, and Photoshop. I stitch together people, places, and other objects to create my scenes. Sometimes it is just two photos, and sometimes it is twenty. Sometimes it is just an obvious double exposure, and sometimes it is an other-worldly situation like a woman with feathers on her face and head, or a girl floating on a cloud in a church. More recently I have played with film double exposures and composites like Jerry Uelsmann’s work. Although I hate dragging out the 4x5 camera, and I hate the long hours in the darkroom, I do love the work that I create with film. The fact that it is hard to recreate a print exactly is something so frustrating, yet exciting.

            Inspiration, experience, and introspection seem to be the most important tools I have to create my work. If I do not have these things, there is nothing within me to give to the world. When I feel empty, my work is empty, and I get no response. What then is the point of creating, if it becomes nothing? There are times when I do not make art, and my mind fills with ideas and dreams and possibilities, and when the time is right I create. 

Everybody Street

                   Everybody Street is documentary on Netflix that looks at 13 Street Photographers and their work. The documentary shows these artists' work, and also shows them photographing on the street. There are also interviews of the photographers.

                    Some of the photographers really stood out to me as I watched this film. Jill Freedman was an amazing photographer and a very interesting person. She is known for her photographs of firemen and the police force in New York City. She really was able to capture the good hearts of the men that served the city. She was able to get very close to them, and you can tell from her interviews that she was a very tough lady, yet she also had a very good heart. Seeing some things would make her tear up. I feel like I can look up to her with her bravery around dangerous situations.

Ricky Powell was very interesting to watch as a person. He has had a lot of luck with photography famous people, and it seems to be that it is mostly his personality that his gotten him lots of jobs. I believe this can definitely help an artist to connect to the subject, and he did it very well. Also, I really loved how Ricky said he always carries a camera around. 

          Another photographer I found interesting was Jamel Shabazz. He is a black photographer, who photographs mostly black people and other minorities. What I really liked about him was that he actually asked most of his subjects if he could photograph, which in turn gave him smiles. This was very unlike a lot of other street photography, so it made his work stand out. Jamel said that he liked to ask because he felt like that gave him a connection with the subject, and it made him feel trusted as well. This was also much different than other street photographers who were yelled at and sometimes beat up for taking photos without asking. 

My Halloween 2016

The first Sushi place we went to was closed for Halloween...But then we found this place! 

Discovered that the bar is the best place to sit...the chefs just hand you your food directly.

Spicy tuna for me! 

Soy sauce is gross.

NOMNOMNOMNOM

Mr. Sushi #2 and HAHA Sushi

Is this good or bad? Is it a sign? Is America a joke?

$12.00 unlimited bowling!

Strike face

Twas a good Halloween.

Too Blunt: Yezmene

35mm Film Print Scan with Digital Image 

I find that as I've gotten older the more passionate I am about certain subject matter. With this passion I have no problem with voicing my opinion or speaking my mind. At times I do feel hesitant about speaking my mind with the fear of judgement from my peers. However, the older I get, the more inclined I am to speak up.