Too Butch: Kass

  

  I knew at a young age that I was different. I was in elementary school so I was about 8 years old when I realized that I was different from all of the other little girls around me because unlike then I loved to play sports. I was the first girl to start playing football with all the boys at recess. I also knew I was different because I didn't look or dress like all the other little girls in my classes, while they wore their bright pink and colorful blouses and dresses I wore jeans and jerseys. 

           I also knew I was different than the other girls because while they had crushes on the boys I had my first crush on one of my female classmates in 5th grade. I didn't think too much into it nor did I really understand the feeling. It wasn't until I got a little older and was in middle school that I finally understood what it mean. I was gay, a lesbian. It wasn't that big of a deal to me because by that time I had come to understand it more and had family gay family members and family friends. 

            I don't really think I am all that different than other women. I am still you very typical version of a female on the inside. I am an emotional person, I am a nurturer, I have the stereotypical aspects of a women on the inside. 

I guess I am different than what society thinks a woman should look like but I don't mind being different! I think being different makes me who and am who I have become. I think being different is what the world needs.

           Growing up a was a tomboy I always have been. As a kid I never faced any ridicule or judgement from other because I was a kid. But as I got older I have got lying and some judgement from people. For example my dad will joke from time to time asking me if I'm going to wear a dress and heels to the company Christmas party or formal events. 

             Before I cut my hair I was afraid if I did I would get a backlash of negative feedback but it turns out I was wrong. My family was fine with it and knew I was something I wanted. However it was a little different going out in public because I guess I was confusing people. Before people saw the way I dress but knew I was a female because if my long hair. Now people stare as if they are trying to figure it out as if I couldn't possibly be a female because I have short hair. 

               The worst reaction that I can say I have ever received is when I was at the Fresno police records department picking up some paperwork, and the older women asked for my name and my ID. I gave it to her and she to a look at me and my ID a few times and then went on to say is this you? I said yes! She said are you sure? I said yes! She said you're a girl? I said yes I am! It was a little uncomfortable and embarrassing but I'm sure there were worse reactions.